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S. Nikki Creque


My Life. My Story. God's Plan.

     Three suicide attempts, an affair and a divorce later, I am STILL standing. Out of it all I thought ending my  marriage and having to walk away from the man I truly loved was going to be what destroyed me. I was broken down to my core, I became nothing, a blank slate. A lonely body with no mind or thought, just a voice remained with enough strength to scream. Scream from the depth of my soul up to the heavens to God for his guidance, help, healing and protection. Cry for all the pain I was feeling and trying to comprehend. I had gotten so lost in my marriage, being a mother, being a wife and anything else anybody else wanted me to be, except me.

And now here I was on the floor of my house having been beaten up by life, people, situations and myself. I had to get back up. I had to find myself, find my strength. I had screamed and now the scream was done, I had work to do. I didn’t know where I was going or how I would get there, but I knew it was time to get up and get going. I felt like my soul was broken, I was broken, but I knew there was a purpose for me through all of it and it was time for me to stand up and find it. My rebirth had begun.

“It’s that point where you stop wherever you are, look up to the heavens, lift your hands and just scream. Scream for all the pain you’ve ever felt. Scream for all the people who are afraid of doing it themselves. And scream because the pain and hurt you feel is so great that you no longer know who you are, what you are doing, and where you are going.”

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